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September 3, 2010
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Hookah face final mockup by cocoaflannel Hookah face final mockup by cocoaflannel
:iconcocoaflannel:

Hookah face final mockupby cocoaflannel

Designs & Interfaces / Fashion / T-Shirt Graphics©2010-2014 cocoaflannel
A design for a tee I'm going to submit to threadless, this is a low res version I did quick at home, to submit as to be critiqued. What do you guys think? I would love feedback

UPDATE: a helpful guy on threadless has told me that there is a perspective issue here. The upper half of the hookah looks like its viewed from a level position, while the bottom half looks like its viewed from above, with no transition. Does anyone else see it. I do lol, I think the hose is also a problem, as it looks like its a top down view too much.

UPDATE: Its on threadless now, go vote for it!

--
Parallel Realitees
surreal tee shirts
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:iconcocoaflannel:
cocoaflannel Jan 22, 2011
thank you :)
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:iconbluebanana:
I really like this, it's definitely one of your best. What was your aim with the work?
Because it succeeds with the style you're going for. For example, I wouldn't be worried about the perspective on the hookah much more than you have already because, a lot of the time, with designs like yours, it's more about how aesthetically pleasing and thoughtful the image is, rather than how "correct" it is realistically speaking. As for the image itself, I like it the way it is, but have you considered adding colors to the hookah instead of just leaving it black and white? The image seems "safe" right now, perhaps even somewhat dull, and I think adding some of those primaries to the hookah would help liven it up. Also, your color choices are often muted and thoughtful, rather than "pretty;" hence, your style. It's not the first thing all teens would pick up to wear since it's much quieter (thought not worse, just different) than much sold to the teen demographic. What is your target audience?
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:iconcocoaflannel:
cocoaflannel Sep 10, 2010
Yea teens to college kids would be my target audience, more of the artsy hipster sort though, I can't picture jocks wearing these. I'm actually trying to add colors to it as we speak. In the .psd file the hookah is a halftone, so im color selecting the black and using the brush to paint it, I'll post it once its done :D No sure how I like how its looking though XD
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:iconbluebanana:
Hey, how did this turn out?
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:iconcocoaflannel:
cocoaflannel Nov 13, 2010
shot down lol, 1.56 final rating on threadless
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:iconlittlered7:
I see the perspective problem on the hookah. The hose does look a little off at the bottom where it twists around. I do love the whimsical look of the smoke. And the steel look of the hookah seems very real to me while the smoke more fantastical. I also like that you stuck with more primary colors for the smoke. It works really well as a whole. :) I agree that the hookah may be the only thing you need to touch up on while the smoke you can do anything and it works. :)
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:iconeuphoricophelia:
euphoricophelia Sep 5, 2010   Traditional Artist
The smoke weaves itself around softer angles, creating very well placed depth. Portraying the smoke in crisp psychedelics, and the hookah as a standard metallic protrusion, gives a sense of reality amongst the illusion. The serene expression in the face, draws the eye to the smoke’s intricate design, in conformation of it‘s effect.

To correct the slightly disheveled perspective, downsize the upper portion, tilt the front portion downward slightly, and add the background portion just above the front, and it would create the effect of one looking from a "downward" angle.
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:iconcocoaflannel:
cocoaflannel Sep 5, 2010
unfortunately, I cant really do that with that much heavy value laid down already lol, it would turn into a mess, so it's looking like I gotta start over. And also, really pro description lol
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:iconeuphoricophelia:
euphoricophelia Sep 6, 2010   Traditional Artist
Why not try just adding some shadow in, on the top part, it's worth a try. No problem, tried my best to be professional in the morning lol.
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